


musical geniuses

by pianoandcookiedoughlover



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: added to the tags, and i love them, because reggie and alex have last names!!, genius interviews!!, i can imagine them all having so much fun at this, i love julie molina so much, they are so chaotic my god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pianoandcookiedoughlover/pseuds/pianoandcookiedoughlover
Summary: julie and the phantoms makes it to genius to do their VERIFIED videos, breaking down their songs! they're all still goofs even in a supposedly professional situation.
Comments: 53
Kudos: 183





	1. wake up

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this was definitely inspired by "Julie and the Phantoms Answer the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED" by sunset swerv here on ao3, i would absolutely recommend it, it was so cute :) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27404386
> 
> here the guys are visible to people other than julie and i am only planning to do the songs that are actually real/they actually performed (so excluding i got the music, perfect harmony, and any of the dirty candy songs or caleb's songs - apologies to anyone who particularly loves those ones!)
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy :)

the camera opens to julie sitting in the genius studio with the iconic yellow screen behind her.

**julie:** you know, the guys were actually there the first time i sang this song. yeah, it was kind of at the start of the band and they were freaking _stalking_ me, listening to me sing it.

she laughs at something off-camera.

**julie:** you so were stalking me! anyway, the guys are gonna be laughing at me through this whole interview, just so you know.

cue the genius intro music, where julie puts one hand under her chin and smiles while looking up to the side slightly, then dissolves into laughter.

**julie:** this song was actually something my mom wrote, so it’s got a pretty special meaning for me. after she died, i was in a really bad place and i didn’t want to have anything to do with music because all it would do was remind me of her. but, once these guys came into my life . . . i realized i wanted to play it, because through music i could connect with her.

she sings the first verse of the song:

_“here's the one thing i want you to know_

_you got someplace to go_

_life's a test, yes_

_but you go toe to toe_

_you don't give up, no, you grow”_

**julie:** it’s actually pretty uplifting, which is why i think so many people can connect to it. it’s about remembering that there are gonna be obstacles that get in your way, and there’s no way you can avoid them, but that you can get through them and everything you go through helps you grow as a person.

she then sings part of the prechorus:

_“and you use your pain_

_cause it makes you you_

_though i wish i could hold you through it”_

**julie:** that last line there . . . man, it’s hard. right after my mom had died, i felt really touch starved and every night i’d just feel so alone in my bed. a mom’s hug is something so precious and warm and i think we can all imagine the feeling of one.

she pauses for a minute and looks down, trying to collect herself. then she looks up beyond the camera and gives a brave smile to someone (presumably luke).

now she sings part of the chorus:

_“wake up, wake up, if it's all you do_

_look out, look inside of you_

_it's not what you lost, it's what you'll gain_

_raising your voice to the rain_

_wake up your dream and make it true_

_look out, look inside of you_

_it's not what you lost_

_relight that spark_

_time to come out of the dark_

_wake up, wake up”_

**julie:** i think this was the perfect chorus for this song. full of hope and optimism . . . yeah, it’s about reaching for the light and getting to where you wanna be. on the instrumental side of things, in my first version of this i kind of kept the beat with octaves on the piano and then later we took it out at one point. but when i was listening to it without them i knew immediately that there was a void there. they acted like sort of the steady, driving force to help me get through the song when my emotions were still high and i wanted them to be there when we recorded it for the album. 

julie then goes to sing the second verse and part of the second prechrous:

_“better wake those demons, just look them in the eye_

_no reason not to try_

_life can be a mess, I won't let it cloud my mind_

_i'll let my fingers fly_

_and i use the pain ‘cause it’s part of me_

_and i’m ready to power through it_

_gonna find the strength, find the melody_

_‘cause you showed me how to do it”_

**julie:** with this verse and the second prechorus, i wanted to kind of respond to my mom’s words and tell her that i heard her and that i’m gonna get through this. it’s a promise on my part that i am gonna still explore my music and not get too overwhelmed with everything going on in life. in a way, it helped me find closure, because it truly felt like we were talking through this song.

she then gets to the other part of the prechorus consistent between both versions:  
  


_“get up, get out, relight that spark_

_you know the rest by heart”_

**julie:** after such a melodic and beautiful-sounding verse, we really wanted a nice transition to the power of the chorus, and so with these two lines, we completely cut the instruments save for some maracas and it made it that much more powerful. the rawness of it kind of reflects how the music really does come from within us and it isn’t about fancy auto-tune or recording studios. 

and she finishes it off with the bridge:

_“so wake that spirit, spirit_

_i wanna hear it, hear it_

_no need to fear it, you're not alone_

_you're gonna find your way home”_

**julie:** i really liked how almost “gospely” the bridge sounded, like something that in a really big hall would, like, reverberate off the walls in a cool way. that line about finding your way home is less about, “oh yeah, i’m gonna find the place i feel most comfortable and surround myself with that,” but more creating that place yourself. you’re gonna find the things that make you happy and excited and loved and then you can build that life for yourself, which i think is really inspiring.

cuts to a wider shot of julie in the studio. she’s smiling in a teasing manner.

**julie:** okay . . . i guess you can come in here . . . you did kinda help me sing this after all. 

luke, alex and reggie all appear next to her and squish her in a group hug.

**julie:** what is about you guys and boundaries? 

they all laugh and the guys give her compliments and encouragements. cut to the final shot of the four of them, luke with his arm around julie, alex standing behind her and reggie to his side.

**julie:** thanks for watching! stay healthy, drink lots of water -

**luke:** learn some wicked guitar skills -

**reggie:** buy an adorable puppy -

**alex:** and lean into your anxiety because it keeps you out of getting into bad situations.

everyone turns to alex and looks at him with a look of, “dude?” alex blushes slightly.

**alex:** okay, don’t be anxious, but stay safe, you guys.

everyone now smiles at him warmly. then they all turn back to the camera.

**julie:** we love you!

julie blows kisses and the rest of the guys wave at the camera, which then turns to the closing credits.


	2. bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh . . . you can expect the absolute insanity that is about to occur with all three of the boys and julie in the genius studio . . . but it's entertaining and they do stay on track talking about bright . . . occasionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part dos of this series! thank you all so much for the kudos and comments, they really do make my day. i hope you like this interview!

this time, julie, alex, luke and reggie are all sitting in front of the camera, reggie and julie sitting in front of alex and luke at a lower height so all their faces can be seen. as luke talks to julie, she leans closer to reggie and turns her head up at the boy behind her to listen.

******luke:** you looked so lonely up there on the stage, like a little tiny puppy.

**julie:** says the guy who pulls puppy eyes every single time he wants something.

**luke:** no i -

julie, alex and reggie all look at him, eyebrows raised. luke humphs and crosses his arms.

**luke:** maybe sometimes.

**alex:** look, i don’t know why you’re denying it, dude, it’s a serious weapon. ( _dramatically_ ) those puppy eyes have destroyed even the coldest of hearts.

reggie nods aggressively in agreement. luke smirks a little to himself. julie scoffs slightly and rolls her eyes but smiles as she does; she doesn’t really mind. 

**julie:** well, how about you take a seat, mr. puppy-eyes-as-choice-of-weapon, and let us get on with the interview? 

luke softly smiles at her before uncrossing his arms and staring properly into the camera. they situate themselves slightly and just as they’re about to record the intro, reggie interrupts, looking off to the side.

**r** **eggie:** hey, are those donuts? 

**alex, julie and luke, in unison:** reggie! 

cue the genius intro music, where julie facepalms and shakes her head as alex and luke appear to be squabbling about something, reggie presumably looking beyond the camera at the donuts and asking a producer about them. cut to the four of them properly sitting down for the interview.

**julie:** i think you gave me this song to sing at school, right, luke?

**luke:** yeah, it was actually a song we wrote ( _gestures to alex and reggie_ ) before julie and the phantoms got together, and i knew that julie’s voice would work perfectly with it.

**julie:** aw, you’re making me blush.

they can’t avoid the heart eyes they make it each other, a tinge of pink appearing on both of their cheeks. reggie watches them fondly, while alex looks into the camera with a smirk on his face and his eyebrows raised.

julie goes to sing the first verse of bright in a shot of her alone:

_“sometimes i think i'm falling down_

_i wanna cry, i'm callin' out_

_for one more try to feel alive_

_and when i feel lost and alone_

_i know that i can make it home_

_fight through the dark_

_and find the spark”_

**julie:** with this song, we wanted to really get across that hope we all had when we came together as a band, playing with the metaphor of light being that joy and life we all felt playing together and dark being the obstacles we had before that.

**alex:** i think also musically, when you go up a lot higher in the chorus, talking about brightness and stuff, the pitch kind of mirrors that.

**julie:** yeah, definitely. 

**reggie:** it’s weird because we did write this before we met julie but the lyrics seem to be perfect for how this band came together. it’s gotta be fate or something.

**julie:** it sure feels like it. we also kept the meaning of “the spark” the same both in this song and “wake up” - my own spark is music and that’s what inspires me to keep creating, and i think the guys would agree with that.

luke and reggie now sing their prechorus in their own shot:

_“life is a risk but we will take it_

_close my eyes and jump_

_together i think that we can make it_

_come on, let's run”_

**alex:** man, those harmonies give me chills every time.

**julie:** ugh, i know, same. 

**luke:** well now look who’s making people blush?

julie simultaneously chuckles and sighs, in disbelief of luke’s ability to act so freely in the middle of an interview. alex rolls his eyes but can’t hide his smile. seeing that luke’s distracted, reggie tries to intervene by bringing up a story.

**reggie:** anyway, remember how you were inspired by that time bungee jumping, luke?

**luke:** oh yeah! so, like, i’m totally terrified of heights, and these two insane guys wanted to go bungee jumping. and i thought that i would be okay, but when we got up there i was frozen. but they encouraged me and really helped me through my fears and when i did it it was somehow the most exhilarating thing ever. and that idea of being able to close my eyes and jump because i have these guys with me is kind of where that line came from. 

**alex:** heights are the one thing, i will say, that i am not afraid of and that luke is. 

**reggie:** that was so much fun, i still have the wristband we got that day. we should go back, and this time we’ll take you, jules.

**julie:** i’d like that, reg.

now julie sings the chorus:

_“and rise through the night, you and i_

_we will fight to shine together_

_bright forever_

_and rise through the night, you and i_

_we will fight to shine together_

_bright forever”_

**julie:** aw, this really puts me in my feels. this was the song we played when we first performed together as julie and the phantoms and i just got a huge wave of nostalgia there.

**alex:** i remember we were not at all expecting the reaction we got, it’s insane. we’re so glad that people like our music but we honestly never expected to even get a gig, much less be here doing a freaking VERIFIED video.

**julie:** i can confirm, alex threw up twice on the way here -

**alex:** hey, don’t expose me!

**julie:** luke has not stopped bouncing since we sat down . . . which i guess isn’t that unusual but still. 

**luke:** i may have drank two cups of coffee this morning so that doesn’t help. 

alex shakes his head at him slightly in feigned disappointment. 

**julie:** and reggie . . . actually, reg is always super chill. 

reggie smiles proudly at that.

**reggie:** what can i say, i’m cool as a cucumber.

**alex:** anyway, julie . . . bright?

**julie:** right, i am so sorry, i knew this interview was gonna be chaos. yeah, some people have asked me how i can sing that high in this song and part of it is in the lyrics, so don’t give me too much credit, you guys. the higher notes always fall on the “i” sounds in the words which makes sure it’s consistent across the chorus and it’s easier to sing. i love seeing all your covers and versions out there, you guys are so talented, so please don’t be afraid to put your content out there. it doesn’t have to be perfect - i think the feeling and your passion inside comes through the music and that’s what’s so cool.

**alex:** you sent me one this morning, jules, of finally free, right? that was so great.

julie nods in confirmation.

**julie:** uh, i don’t know what else . . . do you guys wanna add anything?

**reggie:** well, this is my personal favorite song on the album, so if any fine ladies out there agree . . . ( _he holds up his hand to his ear as if it is a phone_ ) call me.

everyone chuckles. now it cuts to julie and luke on their own screen, singing the bridge together, interacting a lot and smiling at the other as they sing.

_“the times that i doubted myself_

_i felt like i needed some help_

_stuck in my head, with nothing left_

_and when i feel lost and alone_

_i know that i can make it home_

_fight through the dark and find the spark”_

**reggie:** i said this before, but you guys ooze chemistry.

**alex:** and i also said to please never say “ooze” again but somehow you didn’t remember that.

**reggie:** correction, you never said “please.”

alex scoffs and shoves him lightly. 

**julie:** anyway, this is really similar to the second verse, isn’t it?

**luke:** yeah, the only difference is your lines. in the second verse i wanted to try and put into words what it felt like to finally find that thing that was always able to pull me out of the stuff going on in my life and completely surround me, and that was music. here though, your lines go back to the first verse, which i guess kind of gives your own side of what the band does for you.

**julie:** definitely. while we all worked on the song, i think luke and i have had the most complicated relationships with music, whereas for alex and reg, music has been the most clear thing for them out of everything, i think, wouldn’t you guys say?

**alex:** i would. music has always been the one thing i could always rely on through everything.

**reggie:** yeah, same.

**julie:** and i think what brings this song together so well is how the chorus shows how we all feel about music: it’s that brightness in our lives and is what has brought us together in this band that means so much to us.

**reggie:** aw, jules, i would say become a songwriter but i know you’re already one. i don’t know if there’s like another metaphor or something or -

**julie:** i get it, thanks, reg.

she smiles at him, then turns back at the camera.

**julie:** and yeah, i think that’s it! we finally made it through that.

**alex:** we’ve got like 6 more songs, guys, we’re gonna be in the studio here for years.

**luke:** drama queen, i won’t drink coffee before next time and we’ll be fine.

**alex:** i don’t think your bouncing leg that’s been messing up julie’s hair in the back this entire interview has been the issue, luke.

**julie:** excuse me, what?

luke shoves alex lightly before giving julie a sheepish smile, who is trying to pat down her hair in the back. alex appears a little guilty but can’t help but grin slightly at the entertaining interaction that is about to ensue, while reggie is barely able to contain his laughter, knowing how long julie spent on her hair this morning and the absolute wrath she is about to unleash on luke. the closing credits then appear to end the video.


	3. flying solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> julie and the phantoms now get to talk about the bop that is flying solo! but instead of talking about the song itself, they mostly argue about the writing process for it, since all of them seem to have a slightly different recollection of it . . . curious how that happens.
> 
> also some flynn appreciation here because we love her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i am so sorry i haven't been able to update this until now, life has just gotten away from me recently. they do get the most off-topic in this song but i felt as though there was more to talk about on the emotional/storyline side of things rather than the musicality of it so . . . yeah (i am no way qualified to make judgements on a song's musicality but you know what it's fine)
> 
> thank you all so much for the kudos and comments, it really makes my day <3 i hope you enjoy!

all four of the beloved band members are also in this interview, this time with reggie and julie switched places so that she is in front of alex and not luke, presumably after the hair incident in the last interview.

**luke:** she literally rejected being part of our band just before we played this song for the first time. 

**julie:** (exaggeratedly pretending to listen for something) what’s that? was it just me or did i just hear a complete lie?

luke folds his arms at her but can’t stop himself from smiling.

**julie:** no, no, no,  i said i couldn’t join sunset curve because i had to smooth things over with flynn, you know, my best friend? the one i said i’d start a band with? and anyway, you guys joined my band, i believe it was, and not the other way around.

**luke:** where did i lie, though? you flat out told us, and i quote, “oh” when we asked you.

**julie:** you know, i’m thinking that i should’ve just stuck with flynn. double trouble would’ve destroyed sunset curve.

luke leans back exaggeratedly as though he is personally hurt. julie smirks and shakes her head at him. alex leans forward between them to speak:

**alex:** i can’t confirm or deny this, i was actually out meeting my -

**julie, luke and reggie:** (in multiple variations, all speaking over one another) yeah, yeah, your boyfriend, willie.

now alex leans back, sitting upright.

**alex:** wow, okay, guess i talk about him a lot.

they all scoff slightly but endearingly, glad that their best friend is happy in his relationship. then reggie speaks quietly:

**reggie:** i, uh, was there . . . 

**julie:** (warningly) reggie.

he looks between both luke and julie, not wanting to pick a side.

**reggie:** yeah, you know, my mistake, i was actually, uh, with . . . ray! julie’s dad! yeah, really cool dude.

**julie:** reg, you can’t get out of this by diverting the conversation to you fangirling over my dad.

**alex:** fine, then  i will divert this conversation to what we’re supposed to be doing, explaining flying solo?

**l** **uke:** (to the side, in a loud whisper so that everyone can hear it) wow, mood killer!

alex shoots him a death glare, making reggie and julie laugh. cue the genius intro music, in which alex has started braiding julie’s hair. next to them, luke determinedly tries to put a scrunchie that he got from his pocket in reggie’s hair, trying to beat alex and julie. needless to say, it does not look good. julie, alex and reggie all fall into laughter, while luke pulls his somewhat-angry-but-also-in-a-cute-way face.

alex continues braiding julie’s hair as she describes the song:

**julie:** flying solo was something we came up with for flynn. with the band first coming together and me kind of being overwhelmed about it all, i messed up with her. the lyrics i had actually written a long time before this, when she was helping me through what happened with my mom, but lukey here -

she leans up to grab his chin in her hands, in the process making alex twist wildly to keep control of the braid.

**alex:** jules!

**julie:** (apologetically) sorry, alex. anyway, do you want to confess?

**luke:** well, julie’s gonna say i invaded her privacy and maybe that’s technically true, but we got a great song out of it so i have no regrets.

julie rolls her eyes and scoffs. she then goes to sing the first verse on her own screen, her hair in mid braid.

_“if i leave you on a bad note_

_leave you on a sad note_

_guess that means i'm buying lunch that day_

_i know all your secrets_

_you know all my deep-dish_

_guess that means some things they never, they never”_

**reggie:** okay, jules, you gotta tell us what the deep-dish line means, we’ve been begging.

when alex (who has resumed braiding julie’s hair) and luke look at him pointedly, he amends his statement.

**reggie:** i’ve been begging.

julie chuckles.

**julie:** just for you, reg. it’s not that deep though. i was originally gonna use deep . . . uh . . . _poo_ , if you know what i mean, but -

**luke:** i’ll give you ten bucks if you say the actual word.

**julie:** excuse you, we’re pg here, you can keep your money. anyway, i didn’t end up using that because i thought about the actual event that inspired this part of the song and flynn had had deep-dish pizza, yes, reggie, for lunch that day. i thought it was a cute little touch.

when talking about reggie, she makes eye contact with him. at this news, a grin appears on his face.

**reggie:** i knew it!

**julie:** and to be honest, swearing isn’t something that doesn’t not make me sad, so it didn’t really belong in my dream box.

all the guys smile at her when she says that. 

**alex:** (almost done with the first braid, eyes on her hair) so did you actually buy her lunch after that fight?

**julie:** oh yeah. give flynn some good ravioli and she’s yours, even after a big blowout fight.

now all four of them sing the prechorus together, alex taking a break after finishing one of julie’s braids:

_“change_

_we both know what i, what i, what i_

_mean_

_when i look at you it's like i'm looking at me”_

alex now goes back to doing julie’s other braid.

**julie:** ignoring your trespassing, the melody you came up for this is such a bop.

**luke:** yeah, it was actually reggie’s idea for the pre chorus, stepping it up like that.

**reggie:** i did do that, yes. i think it’s good to have something like that where you can expect what’s gonna happen. your ear kinda listens to where the music’s going and instead of doing something crazy with it i thought it would be nice to have something pretty safe in there.

julie and luke smile sadly at him, knowing where that idea probably came from.

**luke:** and then julie comes in with all her sass with that last line.

julie flips one of her braids and pulls off a sassy face.

**julie:** what can i say, it’s my brand.

**luke:** what about you, ‘lex, you’ve been pretty quiet about this so far.

**alex:** (not taking his eyes off julie’s hair) well, first of all, luke, i wanna pay attention and make sure julie’s hair actually looks good, and second, you wrote this song  without your drummer.

**reggie:** oh, boy . . . 

**luke:** well, i guess you could’ve voiced your opinion if you were, you know, in the room at the time. 

**alex:** and you weren’t the same guy who said, (clears his throat) “drumming is so 90s”?

**julie:** wow, okay, all the receipts are coming out now.

**alex:** you know, i just felt a little underappreciated, if i’m being honest.

**luke:** okay, you’re right, that was kind of sucky, but you know i didn’t mean it. we wouldn’t have a band without you.

they softly smile at each other, luke putting a hand on alex’s shoulder. he then tickles him slightly on his neck so that alex pulls his shoulder up to his ear in a recoil, making them both laugh slightly.

**julie:** (to reggie) so dramatic.

**reggie:** agreed, sis.

luke smacks reggie gently on the back of the head at that. alex has since finished julie’s other braid and all four go to sing the chorus now.

_“my life, my life would be real low, zero, flying solo_

_my life, my life would be real low, zero, flying solo without you_

_(hey!) yeah, yeah_

_(hey!) yeah, yeah_

_my life, my life would be real low, zero, flying solo without you”_

reggie continues to nod his head to the beat and hum the song after they’ve finished singing it, making julie, luke, and alex all look at him oddly. he holds his hands up in surrender.

**reggie:** what? sue me. it’s so catchy and you guys know it.

**julie:** while maybe not so much lyric heavy here, i think the groove makes up for it.

**luke:** hey, you gotta give yourself more credit, jules, they’re great lyrics.

**alex:** yeah, definitely.

**julie:** such charmers. i just kind of wrote about how she made me feel with everything going on with my mom. she was always the light, the part of my day that made me smile. i kind of realized how crappy it would be if that one good part of my life was gone, the one thing keeping me above zero.

**alex:** flynn’s actually the head of our marketing team. she was there at the very start of the band and has been at every gig since.

**reggie:** plus, she’s super cool and a great DJ. we wouldn’t be here without her.

**julie:** we love you flynn!

julie and the guys all make hearts with their hands or blow kisses at the camera.

**julie:** i think we wanted it on the album as a reminder that our best friends are such important parts of our lives and that we shouldn’t let go of them. 

**luke:** and we can all agree with that, i think. i get to do my favorite thing with my favorite people in the world and whenever we’re apart or we aren’t making music, it’s a pretty big void there. these guys mean everything to me.

**reggie:** aww, you guys are gonna make me emotional.

**alex:** (slightly choked up) yeah, you’ve already done that. 

the rest of them chuckle and luke wraps an arm around alex and pulls him in. reggie and julie stand up and meet the other two in a hug. they all laugh slightly in the embrace. the closing credits then appear to end the interview.


	4. all eyes on me (special)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well, carrie couldn't let julie and the boys have all the limelight, now, could she? she's here to talk about all eyes on me and in the process, maybe has a few moments of introspection. and, of course, nick is here to support her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, uh . . . surprise? i wasn't actually planning to do a carrie one, but i've read so many absolutely incredible fics about her backstory and what could be going on with her and i decided i really wanted to give it a shot and maybe humanize her a little more. big thank you to celia (@CeliaLestial on here) who inspired the idea of having nick be there behind the camera. much love to you <3
> 
> i hope you all like this bonus chapter!

carrie sits poised in front of the camera, her legs crossed neatly. 

**carrie:** you know, people who say they don’t like attention are really the biggest attention-seekers of all. they’re like the “i’m not like other girls” type of girls. this song is just about recognizing your fame and relishing the fact that you’re popular. why not show off if you got the talent to back it up?

cue the genius intro music, where carrie smirks into the camera and flips her hair, then looking off to the side as if she’s trying to model without even trying, though it’s clear that she is pulling off a show.

**carrie:** so, i do write all the songs for dirty candy, yeah. it’s, uh . . . (she pauses and looks down, thinking about the effort it takes for her to write them. then she lifts her head up and puts on her usual snarkiness) they’re pretty easy for me to write, i can crank them out in no time. some have called me a “musical genius” and i’m inclined to agree. 

she then goes to sing the first verse:

_ “whenever i walk in the room _

_ all the focus on me _

_ the way i talk, the way i move _

_ they all want on my team _

_ not tryin' to brag, brag, but i'm flawless _

_ i'm taking over your playlist _

_ ain't perfect but i can't miss, yeah _

_ the party don't start till i walk in _

_ i'm stealing all the attention _

_ don't get me started on mentions, yeah” _

**carrie:** i know some people have said this song is pretty indulgent, but i honestly think it’s just being self-aware. i mean, i’ve never gotten picked last for dodgeball, even though i try and get out of it as much as i can so i don’t break my nails . . . (she pauses to inspect her baby pink acrylics) and i know that dirty candy’s music is pretty high on the charts so, duh, people  have to be listening to it. and i mean it when i say, “don’t get me started on mentions,” you should see my social medias. there’s . . . a lot. dm’s, interviews, posts i have to make . . . but, i mean, that’s what you sign up for with fame, right? (she halfheartedly chuckles, then refocuses.) anyway, my point is that my music is just brutally honest, which is kind of rare in the industry these days.

next, she sings the prechorus:

_ “some might say i sound conceited _

_ they don't get the shine that i get _

_ some get jealous, they can't help it _

_ they wish they were me, oh” _

**carrie:** so, we also dance whenever we perform our songs, and this is probably my favorite choreo out of all the dances we have for the songs on our album. alex actually comes into rehearsal a lot and helps out, which is fun! not that he’s anywhere  close to good as me, but . . . having a second in command like that is good, he usually has some pretty cool ideas for choreo. and nick (she looks off to the side of the camera at him, laughing slightly while shaking her head) also likes to grace us with his presence sometimes. he will agree when i say that he’s never becoming part of dirty candy. 

she genuinely laughs at something he presumably said off-camera. then she listens to him say something and a look of recognition falls on her face.

**carrie:** oh, yeah! we have tutorial videos on our youtube channel, for any of you guys out there who wants to learn some of our most iconic moves. 

she gets up out of her seat and the camera switches to a view where we can see her from head to toe, instead of just her torso. she does a spin and then snaps her fingers a couple of times, moving her hips with the beat she’s keeping with her snaps, like she does in the choreo for this song.

**carrie:** for instance, that. 

she then sits down again. she runs her hand through her hair to make it fall nicely again and crosses her legs like she had them at the start of the interview.

_ “i keep the party going all night, all night _

_ i set the trends that you all like, all like _

_ i make an entrance when i don't try, don't try _

_ 'cause all i see is all eyes on me _

_ i only lead i never follow, follow _

_ i never open 'cause it's my show, my show _

_ don't know if people think i'm shallow, shallow _

_ but all i see is all eyes on me” _

**carrie:** repetition is a powerful thing in music, it helps get the message through people’s thick skulls -

her attention is called be nick behind the camera. after listening to him, she sighs and softens a bit.

**carrie:** okay, not that all people are idiots, just . . . people who don’t believe in climate change, i guess. definitely not our listeners. but i meant what i said about repetition. i really wanted to use that with the melody i had come up with. in this song especially, it’s got a really nice groove to it that makes you wanna get up and dance. adding the repeat of the word at the end of each line gives it that little more of the sass that’s what dirty candy’s all about. (she pauses and looks down) i know that people do think i’m shallow and just a pretty face, i mean, i see the comments . . . (is quiet for a moment, but then gains confidence and looks up again) but i know i’m more than that. i - i know i’m more than that.

she looks over to nick and then breaks out into a small smile after making eye contact with him.

**carrie:** if people want to look down on me for talking about the fame and stuff i get for my hard work then they can go ahead. i think it’s good to celebrate yourself like that. (she looks straight into the camera and speaks a little softer) and you guys out there deserve to celebrate yourselves too. don’t let any jealous idiots tell you otherwise.

she then goes to sing the part of the second verse that varies from the first:

_ “they know my face, they know my name _

_ reputation on lock _

_ it's not my fault i got the fame _

_ ain't my fault it won't stop, yeah” _

**carrie:** i don’t control what the public like to hear. i’ve just found the music i like to make and it seems to be pretty popular, so . . . why should i stop? i’ve had some crazy moments being famous. like one time, my dad and i went to trader joe’s for fruit to make some smoothies and we were there for  four hours , people wanted so many pictures. (she sits there pensive for a moment) i think what’s weird is that even if i didn’t wanna be famous, i still would be, because i’m trevor wilson’s daughter. i can’t do anything about my reputation because i was born into it. so that line about it being on lock really is true. (she shrugs, slightly sadly) i guess that it’s just good that i do wanna be famous, and not some hermit hiding away in a cave.

she finishes off singing the bridge:

_ “when i grow up i wanna be me, be me _

_ i'm my own goals just talking honestly _

_ must have won the lottery _

_ ain't no one as hot as me _

_ stealing looks, it's robbery _

_ everywhere i go all eyes on me” _

**carrie:** alex texted me before this to tell you all that the choreo to the bridge is his favorite part to the whole dance so . . . there you go, world. on the music side of things, though, it’s funny, ‘cause a lot of people don’t know how many kinds of rhymes there are. these are perfect rhymes, where the vowel sounds are the same and there’s no consonant sounds after, so “honest ly” and “lotter y” (emphasizes the “e-” sound on both of those words). but there’s also family rhymes and assonance rhymes and all other kinds that can be useful if you can’t find perfect ones. 

carrie looks over to nick beyond the camera and scoffs at him after he finishes talking.

**carrie:** and this is why, nick, you need to know more about music and songwriting than just “throwing stuff together.” it’s an art, and one that i have mastered, i must say. but yeah, that’s all about “all eyes on me,” you can find dirty candy on all streaming platforms and on our youtube channel. pretty much all my socials are @carriewilson if you guys wanna check those out too. and i guess that’s it. bye, guys!

she genuinely smiles at the camera and waves a little bit in her own carrie way before the closing credits appear to end the interview.


	5. finally free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . a whole lot of homosexuality with a sprinkle of rainbow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! so sorry for the delay, i swear, i seem to only be able to write in short bursts here and there, but never consistently. anyway, more chaos from the squad in this chapter, so if you've come for that you're in the right place. thank you so much for the support and i hope you enjoy :)

julie and the boys are back! specifically this time, they all have their various pride pins on. julie has her bisexual pin on her shirt as well as her bi bracelet on, alex has his gay pride flag pinned to his fanny pack strap, luke’s pan and ace pride flag pins are attached to his beanie, and reggie’s bisexual pin is on his iconic flannel.

**julie:** i’m actually shocked how often we get asked about this song, people wondering what it’s about. i guess to answer once and for all, it’s our take on being out and proud and honoring the amazing LGBTQ+ community.

**reggie:** we all are some form of not straight or not cis and we wanted to do something to represent that.

**alex:** every performance we play this song at we have a sort of fundraising thing going on to raise money for the trevor project and to be honest, those are always my favorite performances.

**luke:** yeah, the crowd always gets so into it and it’s incredible to see that support.

**julie:** so yeah, insert all things rainbow up in here, it’s about to get (waves arms in a rainbow shape, then pretends to hold a microphone)  a little homosexual.

**alex:** be gone, homophobes!

all four pretend to shoo away these aforementioned homophobes. cue the genius intro music, where julie pulls up her leg onto her stool to show off her cuffed jeans, reggie throws some peace signs, alex fixes his hair and then poses with his wrist limp, only for luke to enter from the left with a frying pan and make alex jump and then fall off his stool in shock. julie and reggie fall into laughter.

alex tries to get back on the stool and situate himself as julie talks, luke snickering and putting the pan down to his side.

**julie:** it was actually so funny, the first time we performed this, i had snuck out after being grounded for missing a calc test (she clasps a hand over her mouth).

**luke:** we almost got a deal too with a super professional-looking exec and then her dad came in all (poor imitation of ray), "where have you been young lady?"

**julie:** my dad does not sound like that.

**reggie:** yeah, don’t disrespect ray like that.

luke raises his hands in surrender.

**julie:** but he’s right, it was so embarrassing at the time. now we laugh about it. (she smiles thinking about it, then sternly looks into the camera) but kids, we’re not promoting this. don’t do dirty to your parents like that. there will always be another gig, but you need to stay safe. 

**reggie:** if anyone would’ve come near you, we would’ve beat them up, right, guys?

**alex:** uh, i don't know if we should be promoting violence either, reg. 

**luke:** we would protect jules with our lives.

reggie nods in agreement while alex sighs and julie rests her head in her hand listening to them all talk about her.

**alex:** wow, alpha male on max, then, huh?

**julie:** look, kids, don't sneak out, don't do drugs, be nice to your parents, and try and find yourselves a group of best friends as good as these guys - though maybe one with less absolute chaos.

**alex, luke, reggie:** (in unison) hey!

julie chuckles before going to sing the first verse on her own screen:

_“hearts on fire_

_we're no liars, so we say what we wanna say_

_i'm awakened, no more faking_

_so we push all our fears away”_

**julie:** yeah, so this verse is just talking about that feeling we’ve all gotten once we’ve felt comfortable in our sexualities and we weren’t feeling like we had to hide it anymore. it’s not like a sudden switch, like you’re deep in the closet one day to being the first one at pride the next, but more of a process. and then suddenly you look and realize how far you’ve come in accepting yourself, which i think is pretty cool.

**luke:** also, that idea of being awakened, it’s like all the things that were so confusing before now make sense, like you have a new perspective on life.

**reggie:** i think this would make for a great album cover someday too, just throwing that out there.

**alex:** a heart on fire?

reggie nods. alex ponders this for a moment, then nods to himself.

**alex:** i can get behind that. that would be pretty dope.

**julie:** oh no, i’m gonna have 20 different album cover drawings outside my bedroom door tomorrow morning, aren’t i?

**luke:** you can’t limit creativity, jules.

she shakes her head at him while smiling, knowing that on some level he’s right, but it still doesn’t mean she likes having more work to do managing all their ideas. 

now she sings the prechorus and the refrain together on her own screen again:

_“don't know if i'll make it 'cause i'm falling under_

_close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder_

_i wanna fly_

_come alive_

_watch me shine”_

**julie:** i’m really glad we put the refrain in there right after the prechorus, because it kind of keeps it all in balance. the prechorus is recognizing that coming out can be a stressful and difficult process for a lot of people, but then with the refrain afterwards, it reminds you that you are perfect the way you are and every time you come out, you should remember that.

**reggie:** you’ve probably had the worst of it when it comes to coming out out of all us, huh, alex?

**alex:** (to reggie) yeah, you could say that, reg. (to the camera) my parents are very conservative christians and . . . let’s just say telling them i was gay didn’t go well. i kind of inspired the prechorus the most, i think, just because i know what that feels like: the feeling like you’re falling under the surface, the clutching in your chest, your legs going weak and your body going numb . . . i’m so sorry if any of you out there have parents that reacted like mine did. just know that we all love you so much and don’t be afraid to reach out to people in your life that you know care. these guys are my rock and i don’t know what i’d do without them - i really hope you all find your rock too.

julie grabs alex’s hand, reggie rubs his knee, and luke wraps an arm around alex and brings him in closer to him.

**alex:** anyway, sorry that got so intense. what’s great about this song is how uplifting it is too. like julie said, it’s a good balance.

**luke:** i also love the way you go up in the refrain, jules, it’s perfect every single time. 

**julie:** i paid him to say that. (they all laugh) no, but thanks, luke. i always have fun doing that - it’s like an actual weight gets lifted off my chest and i feel myself rising up in a similar way to how the lyrics go. it’s pretty cool.

**reggie:** there’s also a little nod to _bright_ in there, if any of you sharp-eyed folks out there saw it. either it was intentional or we just like using the word “shine” a lot and honestly it could be either.

all of them chuckle at this. then julie and luke sing the chorus separate from reggie and alex:

_“i got a spark in me_

_hands up if you can see_

_and you're a part of me_

_hands up if you're with me_

_now till eternity_

_hands up if you believe_

_been so long and now we're finally free”_

**julie:** (hums the last line of the chorus to herself, moving her hand slightly to the rhythm of it. she then looks up sheepishly) sorry, it’s just so catchy! it gets stuck in my dad’s head all the time and we make fun of him for it, but i’ll say it here: i find myself singing it the most at random times.

**luke:** wow, julie’s exposing herself this entire interview.

**julie:** i know, it’s a problem. that last line especially, though, i almost think of it as like swinging between the notes . . . it’s just fun to do, okay!

**alex:** don’t worry, jules, we love it when you geek out over music.

they smile at each other.

**reggie:** your dad always puts his hands up at that point in the chorus every single time.

**julie:** like in the ymca?

reggie nods and they laugh together.

**julie:** reggie is the president of the ray molina fanclub out there, for all you wondering.

**reggie:** oh yeah, baby, i was the first fan, the OG. 

**julie:** anyway, in this chorus we’re just singing about the release we’ve all felt coming out and relating figuring out our identities to a spark inside of us, which i think is perfect. it really is like the start of a whole new life, knowing yourself a little better like that - (stops abruptly and puts her hand out back behind her towards luke, who was just about to speak) and do not say anything you’re gonna regret in a week once this is on youtube, just because you wanna mess with me.

luke sits back a little bit, retreating back on what he was about to say. alex sighs and tsks at him.

**reggie:** we also wanted to bring in the side of how much it means to people in the LGBTQ+ community when a person responds well to someone’s coming out and just . . . aren’t a bad person, i guess?

**alex:** yeah, it really does make all the difference, the way you react. it can seriously hurt people in trying to accept themselves but it can also make them feel really loved and supported, depending on how you go about it.

**julie:** we encourage people who are straight and cis to be proactive allies and try to kind of help people they know be more accepting. you’re in a place of privilege and like with any kind privilege, it so important to be active supporters of minorities while not speaking over them either.

**luke:** in less fancy terms, be good humans. respect people and remind people that you love them every once in a while. 

julie sings the second verse on her own screen now:

_“we’re all bright now, what a sight now_

_coming out like we’re fireworks_

_marching on proud, turn it up loud_

_cause now we know what we'rе worth”_

**reggie:** okay, this can’t be a coincidence, a second _bright_ reference? 

**julie:** have you really just noticed that, reg?

**reggie:** i don’t know, i guess i was just really thinking about it listening to you sing the lyrics this time. whichever one of you decided to do this, you’re a mastermind.

**luke:** (slaps him gently on the shoulder) aw, thanks, bud.

**alex:** (scoffs playfully) so modest.

luke shoves alex gently and they mess around for a few seconds behind a bewildered reggie and julie sighing.

**julie:** (gesturing behind her) okay, well until those two can calm down, we’ll hold down the fort, huh, reg?

**reggie:** aye, aye, captain.

**luke:** okay, no, we're back now, sorry.

**julie:** i swear it's like you're simultaneously my older and younger brothers it's . . . weird.

**alex:** hey, we're good entertainment if nothing else.

**julie:** (points to alex) he makes points. anyway, this was based on the time we played at pride, right?

**luke:** oh my god, yeah, it was so fun. there were so many colors and people and the music was great and everyone seemed to like our stuff too. i got a pan beanie there as well that i totally spaced out on bringing today.

**alex:** basically he was like an excited puppy there.

**luke:** you guys always call me that, even though we unanimously decided that reggie embodies a golden retriever to a t.

**reggie:** and i take that with a lot of pride, thank you very much. (pauses and lights up) hey . . . pride!

**julie:** (chuckles while shaking her head) and thank you to reggie to bringing us back to the song. but yeah, it was such a good experience to drive this verse from. even though we'd been out for a while, that idea of being proud and excited about this part of us really hit all of us that entire time, i think, being surrounded by the lights and the joy of it all, and we wanted to include it.

julie and luke then sing the prechorus, which varies slightly from the first one, on their own screen:

_“we know we can make it_

_we're not falling down under_

_close my eyes and feel my chest_

_beating like thunder”_

**julie:** i love the parallel to the first prechorus in these first two lines here. earlier in the song we talk about the uncertainty of coming out and the fear and all the scary stuff that comes from being who you are in a heteronormative society. but here, we’re celebrating the reassurance you can get from finding a group of people that support you unconditionally.

**alex:** the second part about the chest beating like thunder also kind of flips meanings too. before it was more of a crushing and overwhelming feeling, but this is more like the adrenaline you can get right before a performance. 

**reggie:** (looks at julie, then luke) you guys harmonizing as well, just . . . (mimics a chef’s kiss)

**alex:** oh man, these two during the bridge -

**reggie:** sharing the microphone!

**alex:** in some ways reg and i are just back up. but, i mean, i can’t complain when they sing together.

**luke:** nah, man. i mean, i love singing with julie, of course, but if any of us weren’t in the band we wouldn’t be julie and the phantoms.

**julie:** yeah, you guys are so important to the band. 

**alex:** (smiles at julie and luke, then looks into the camera) julie and luke’s duet album will release in 2022 along with reggie’s solo country album. 

julie scoffs and rolls her eyes and luke half coughs-half laughs, but both are smiling.

**reggie:** uh, alex, i only have 2 songs -

**alex:** i got you, reg, i’ll help you. unlike some people - (turns to luke pointedly)

**luke:** hey! i’m all for reggie doing a country album, i just don’t want his songs in  my journal. 

**julie:** (under her breath) well, now someone’s bothered about personal property.

**luke:** i still got the frying pan here, you guys.

**julie:** ooh! i’m scared.

**alex:** (mutters) i was.

**reggie:** i should write a country song about a frying pan.

**julie:** can’t wait to hear it, reg.

julie and luke finally end on the bridge. at first, luke is a bit withdrawn, crossing his arms and not interacting as much with julie after being attacked a minute ago. but he can’t help but melt for the girl as she pretends to hold a microphone and tilt it between them, and he eventually gives in:

_“i got a spark in me (i got a spark in me)_

_and you're a part of me (and you're a part of me)_

_now till eternity (now till eternity)_

_been so long and now we're finally free”_

**alex:** okay, what’s your album gonna be called, you guys, because i’m thinking “watchable,” totally not quoting flynn here.

**reggie:** what about juke? 

**alex:** (points at reggie) yes, love it.

**julie:** you guys are so dramatic.

**luke:** yeah and also totally wrong. everyone knows our first album together is gonna be called - 

**julie:** please don’t say hotdogs -

**luke:** hotdogs!

**julie:** we were having a barbeque and i don’t know what the heck happened there but since he’s told me about wanting to do an album called hotdogs and now he’s just doing this to annoy me.

**luke:** hey, don’t judge until you know the whole story! i’ll get you on board with it someday . . . 

**alex:** okay, i didn’t mean to get us this far away from _finally free_.

**luke:** basically to sum up, we’re all gay and we’re spreading the gay agenda with this song. thank you and goodnight.

he gets up to leave, taking his frying pan.

**alex:** works for me!

alex goes to leave as well.

**julie:** that’s it?  that’s how you’re gonna end this interview?

she waves her hand in front of reggie’s face since he appears to be daydreaming.

**reggie:** huh? sorry, i was thinking about cover designs for an album called hotdogs.

**julie:** (sighs) i never know why i always bring you three back here.

cut to a shot of the four of them standing up in a line, luke and alex on the ends with reggie and julie in the middle. all four of them have their arms around each other.

**luke:** all the money from this video is actually going to the trevor project, so if you wouldn’t mind sharing it with people that would be great.

**reggie:** yeah, tell your friends!

**alex:** like jules said, if you take anything from us, try your best to be good allies and support the people in your life.

**julie:** and most of all, remember to love yourself for who you are. thank you for watching!

the four smile at the camera and then the closing credits appear.


	6. edge of great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the band reflect on the writing process behind this song as well as what it means to them to be on the edge of your greatness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, this seems like deja vu now, but my deepest apologies that it has taken me so long to update this! i have been extremely busy with finals and school but now that that is over i can fully surrender myself to the writing gods and hopefully continue more regularly with this series now.   
> i really hope you all enjoy seeing the gang during their genius interviews again, and thank you all for sticking around <3

the chaotic quartet are back as good as ever, except . . . hang on a minute, something isn’t quite right. luke isn’t wearing a tank top this time . . . but reggie is, and alex seems to have traded his backwards baseball cap for . . . butterfly clips? it appears to be that everyone switched styles, so now luke has on alex’s iconic pink sweatshirt and julie is dressed in reggie’s plaid and leather jacket combo. alex and reggie in particular lean into acting as the people they are dressed as for this first part of the interview:

**alex:** ‘cause we we’re standing on the edge of  _ a date! _

**reggie:** on the edge of  _ a date _ !

**alex:** _ a date _ !

**reggie:** on the edge of  _ a date _ !

**alex:** _ a - _

julie interrupts before alex can finish again.

**julie:** you guys really do love to embarass me, don’t you? especially online.

alex wraps his arms around julie’s neck affectionately, making her chuckle.

**luke:** nah, jules, you do that on your own.

she turns around to shove him slightly, making him laugh.

**julie:** uh, they’re making fun of you too here, lukey-pooky.

luke snorts at the nickname.

**alex:** okay, but in all seriousness, that first performance of this song was (groans) painful, wasn’t it reg?

**reggie:** first luke was looking at julie, then she was ignoring him, then he was staring at her more, then she was still ignoring him, then finally she looked at him and then they lived happily ever after.

**alex:** (wistfully) it really was like watching a movie. (normally) and screaming at it for the two characters to get together!

luke and julie laugh. 

**julie:** i would give you all context for this but flynn explicitly texted me in all caps to not say anything about it because she doesn’t want the internet to come at her for trying to stop us from getting together.

**luke:** you totally just exposed her, jules. 

she covers her hand over her mouth suddenly.

**julie:** yeah, no, that was all, uh, a lie, none of that was true. (pauses and looks down, then stares into the camera with a sheepish smile) sorry, flynn.

luke and alex laugh slightly behind her, but reggie seems preoccupied with the tank top he’s wearing.

**reggie:** wow, luke, i didn’t realize tank tops could be so . . . freeing.

**luke:** i told you, man, once you try it, you’re never going back. like this (pulls at alex’s sweatshirt) is way too hot.

**alex:** hey! you know that’s my favorite one.

the three of them start squabbling about each others’ styles and julie watches them amusedly for a moment before turning back to the camera with a smirk on her face.

**julie:** aren’t you glad we’re back?

cue the genius intro music. this time, everyone seems to be playfully mocking the person they’re dressed as: luke drumming exaggeratedly with alex’s drumsticks, making alex grab them from him as he’s scared he’s going to damage them, reggie off his stool jumping up and down with an imaginary electric guitar, then leaning into an imaginary mic and singing with julie. alex doesn’t act as julie because a) julie is too good for this world and cannot be made fun of and he knows it and b) he’s too busy worrying about his drumsticks.

**julie:** luke and i wrote this song to represent how we were feeling at the start of this band and our excitement about all the things we could do together. an ode to our potential, if you will.

julie goes to sing the first verse on her own screen:

_ “running from the past _

_ tripping on the now _

_ what is lost can be found, it's obvious _

_ and like a rubber ball _

_ we come bouncing back _

_ we all got a second act, inside of us” _

**julie:** we all came together at a rough time, i think, all of us working through our own feelings of loss and grief. the band for us is what acted as that “second act,” us finding “what was lost.”

**luke:** something that i think helps our music is the fact that we’re all so passionate about it. we’re not in it for the money or the fame - it’s what drives us every day and we put so much of ourselves into our music.

**alex:** that line about the rubber ball makes me laugh a little every time i hear it, only because it reminds me how when julie and luke were writing this song, reg and i were playing with a ball to pass the time and after a while julie grabbed it and threw it into her neighbors’ backyard.

**reggie:** i remember that! that was an awkward conversation with the neighbors . . . 

**julie:** i get really distracted by noises, okay? 

**luke:** well even being distracted by that, you came up with some freaking amazing lyrics, and that whole thing inspired that line, so i would say it’s a win-win.

julie blushes slightly at this, but quickly gets back on track.

**julie:** well, i actually really liked playing with that idea of the fact that music has always been the obvious thing in our lives, and that the band helped us refocus on that. so thanks, alex and reg, for being goofs and not contributing to this song.

**alex:** hey, when you two get into a writing session, something just . . . happens. i don’t know. reg and i like to leave you alone when you’re really into it like that.

reggie nods in agreement.

**alex:** but i concede, the ball should’ve gone somewhere else.

**luke:** (scoffs) alex acts like he’s in trouble, but who could be mad at (grabs his chin) this face.

**alex:** ha ha. maybe you should ditch the band and go into comedy, luke.

**julie:** i swear, the headlines tomorrow are going to be, “julie and the phantoms broken up: disagreement during genius interview.” (exaggeratedly pleadingly) you’ll stay with me, won’t you, reg? we’ll get through this, won’t we?

**reggie:** wait, the band’s not actually breaking up, is it?

the other three kindly chuckle.

**alex:** never, reg.

luke ruffles his hair and julie also winks at him to reassure him, making reggie smile, then sigh in relief.

**reggie:** well, phew, that’s good. 

julie and the guys all now sing the chorus:

_ “i believe _

_ i believe that we're just one dream _

_ away from who we're meant to be _

_ that we're standing on the edge of _

_ something big, something crazy _

_ our best days are yet unknown _

_ that this moment is ours to own _

_ 'cause we're standing on the edge of great _

_ (on the edge of great) great _

_ (on the edge of great) great _

_ (on the edge of great) _

_ 'cause we're standing on the edge of great” _

**alex:** i always think about how weird it would be if you just sang this on your own, jules, without our backup.

**julie:** you mean like (sings the last part of the chorus where she only sings the word “great,” rocking her body slightly the times she says the words. she leaves enough time in between that the guys singing “on the edge of great” would normally fill).

julie and all the guys laugh.

**alex:** exactly.

**julie:** i’ll sometimes sing it like that in the shower or in the car, just for funsies.

**reggie:** well, it’s weird, because the song used to be called “great,” right, not “edge of great?” why did we change that?

**julie:** i guess because at the time we wrote that, we weren’t the “great” we were talking about. and it’s not about the money or fame, like luke said, but about improving ourselves as musicians. what’s special about it is that we knew our potential that we would hopefully grow into, and we knew we were on the edge of it.

**luke:** i really don’t know how she’s so naturally poetic.

**alex:** (loud whisper) soft!

**luke:** i’m not gonna even answer that because all of us know here how you act around willie.

**alex:** (begrudgingly, folding his arms) i’m not  that bad.

**julie:** you’re still a blushing mess around willie and we love it, alex. so does willie.

alex’s cheeks go pink and he looks down, making julie smile. meanwhile, luke is watching her, which reggie notices and chuckles very quietly to himself at.

**reggie:** i really like how much this one teases the listener too, though. we first bring in “standing on the edge of” without finishing the sentence until later in the chorus, and i don’t know, i think it’s fun. keeps you on your toes.

**luke:** and how you fall off at the end, jules? just (moves his arms around, unable to come up with the words) -

**alex:** we’d sing backup to you any day of the week, julie.

**julie:** okay, so we started off this interview making fun of julie, and now we’re showering her with praise? make it make sense.

**reggie:** hey, i was talking about the music itself. (luke and alex look at him pointedly) but also, yes, we love you julie.

julie chuckles and shakes her head. 

**julie:** honestly, i just hope that people can take from this song that it’s okay not to have everything you need right this minute. you’re always going to continue growing and sometimes it’s the best place to be, on the edge of your greatness. it’s an amazing motivator and i know it’s really helped keep all of us going. 

julie and luke are now on their own screen to sing the second verse together:

_ “we all make mistakes _

_ but they're just stepping stones _

_ to take us where we wanna go _

_ it's never straight, no _

_ sometimes we gotta lean _

_ lean on someone else _

_ to get a little help _

_ until we find our way” _

**alex:** well, of course we’re not going to go anywhere “straight,” there’s not straight bone in any of our bodies!

**luke:** i honestly think we should rebrand: julie and the  _ pan _ toms.

**reggie:** (excitedly) julie and the  _ bi - _ (realizes it doesn’t work) toms, okay, that doesn’t work.

**julie:** guys, wasn’t the  _ finally free _ video enough to get out all of the band’s gayness?

**alex:** never! 

**julie:** right, message received. now, we can continue being gay on the main or we can - (pauses to see alex pulling out a pride flag from his fanny pack. she sputters slightly, which turns into laughter) nope, okay, still being gay on the main. 

**luke:** guess i  have to be the responsible one  again and bring us back on track, huh?

julie and alex glare at him while reggie scrunches up his face to stop himself from laughing. julie then turns back to the camera with a distinctly different smile on her face.

**julie:** anyway, this verse is pretty humbling as well, i think. we always knew getting into the music industry was going to be hard, and it wasn’t going to be the romanticized version of things famous artists sometimes like to make it out to be. but we were okay with that, and we wanted other people to realize that it’s okay to not have a perfect journey to wherever you want to go. 

**luke:** julie actually took me to the lake near her house that had these really dope stepping stones, and we tried to get across on them but we kept slipping and ended up just splashing each other to death. we were soaked in the end but you were still - (is unsure how to finish the sentence, and decides to go a different route) it’s still one of my favorite memories.

**julie:** yeah, that was a lot of fun, luke. we should do that again.

they smile at each other warmly. reggie and alex exchange a look with raised eyebrows, but also smiling.

**alex:** we hope our fans know that we didn’t just magically end up here - people like flynn, ray, and all our friends and families really helped us in ways we probably couldn’t describe, from helping us with the music to giving us support when we were knocked down.

**reggie:** and we got knocked down  many times, i can assure you all.

**luke:** it’s good to rely on the people in your life. don’t pass their support up.

julie goes to sing the bridge on her own screen:

_ “shout, shout _

_ c'mon and let it out, out _

_ don't gotta hide it _

_ let your colors blind their eyes _

_ be who you are no compromise _

_ just shout, shout _

_ c'mon and let it out, out _

_ what doesn't kill you makes you feel alive (alive) _

_ ooh-oh” _

**reggie:** the first time we performed, jules got up on that piano like - oh, what’s the word?

**alex:** i believe “queen” is what you’re looking for.

**luke:** (to the camera) don’t worry, jules tell us all the time we’re grandpas. you don’t have to remind us in the comments.

**julie:** please all comment how these three are absolute grandpas. (to reggie) but go on, yes.

**reggie:** yeah, like a total queen, like . . . alicia keys! man, i get goosebumps thinking about it.

**julie:** oh my god, ms. keys, if you’re out there, we’d love to meet you. i promise i’ll control them (waves hapazardly behind her at the three).

**alex, luke, and reggie:** hey!

**julie:** let the record speak for itself. after that time we met kenny ortega, none of you have any rights when it comes to meeting famous people.

the three look between each other and begrudgingly concede.

**luke:** you may have a point.

**julie:** i am literally the only one that’s in possession of more than one braincell at any given moment here. but i appreciate the compliment, reg. back to the song, though, my favorite part of this bridge is how much the crowd gets into it. this song has such a good vibe to it and people really get into it.

**luke:** i’ve seen people in the middle of stores who i guess are listening to it singing to it. it’s actually kind of incredible that it has that big of a reach.

**alex:** bringing people together through music, since 1792.

**reggie:** in the middle of the french revolution?

**julie:** i will never understand how you memorize so many history facts, reg. it’s amazing.

**reggie:** i honestly have no clue how it sticks. 

**luke:** i’m just mad they didn’t include my guitar solo in the final version.

**alex:** oh, that’s right! it sounded killer with julie’s singing in the last chorus. 

**julie:** maybe we can give it a shot right now?

**reggie:** yes! exclusive content, you won’t see anywhere else.

julie, luke (with electric guitar in hand), alex, and reggie all sing the last iteration of the chorus:

_ “i believe _

_ i believe that we're just one dream _

_ away from who we're meant to be _

_ that we're standing on the edge of great _

_ something big, something crazy _

_ our best days are yet unknown _

_ that this moment is ours to own _

_ 'cause we're standing on the edge of great _

_ (on the edge of great) on the edge of great _

_ (great, on the edge of great) on the edge, woah _

_ (great, on the edge of great) _

_ 'cause we're standing on the edge of . . . “ _

**julie:** that’s just to show off a little, i guess, but the same message still applies: be inspired by your own future, and know that it’s okay not to be exactly where you want to get to yet. you’ll get there, i promise.

**reggie:** with a little help from your (terribly white accent) amigos.

**julie:** (with proper accent) amigos, reggie, amigos.

reggie repeats it softly under his breath, genuinely trying to take her suggestion.

**alex:** well, anyway, after that is just julie and luke gazing into each others’ eyes like star-crossed lovers, and then the song ends. oh, and they do sing while they do that, i forgot to add.

luke shakes his head fondly at alex. 

**julie:** well, as alex, our resident romance novelist, seems to have concluded this song, i guess there’s nothing else to say, is there?

alex plays with her a bit before going to wrap his arms around her again.

**alex:** just that our resident songwriter, julie, is very inspirational.

**luke:** and i am?

**alex:** (looks at luke disdainfully, still with his arms wrapped around julie) still on my bad side for making fun of my favorite sweatshirt. also i actually love these clips and i might steal them from time to time, jules.

**julie:** (laughs) go ahead, alex.

**luke:** look, i’m sorry, ‘lex. i promise, your sweatshirts are great. i even still have one of your old ones and i’ll wear it sometimes.

**alex:** (smiles incredulously) well, look who’s mr. nostalgia now, huh?

luke shoves him playfully. reggie has since taken julie’s flannel and put it over luke’s sweatshirt. he smiles at his creation proudly.

**reggie:** hey, look at this, a flannel and a tank top! i can dig this combo.

**julie:** you make it work, reg.

**luke:** flannel, sweatshirt, whatever it is, it has too many sleeves.

**alex:** i genuinely think luke has a sleeves intolerance.

**reggie:** wait, you can have a sleeve’s intol -

**julie:** (interrupts to bring the conversation to a close) okay! well, i think we’re done here. i hope you all enjoyed our video breaking down edge of great, and yeah, we’ll see you in the next one! bye everyone!   
  


all four of them wave into the camera. luke quickly tries to take off the sweatshirt because of the heat, but the other three stop him, reminding him the camera is still on. he smiles sheepishly as alex swats him over the head gently, reggie laughs, and julie shakes her head at the entire ordeal. the closing credits appear to finish the video.


	7. unsaid emily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luke describes his story behind this emotional song and what lessons he's learned from the entire experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! this one is, as expected, fairly raw and painful, so please take care while reading this (i'm sure you all know the general subject matter this song deals with, but also a slight tw for underage drinking, very minor, i promise). i really think that luke's story is something that we can all learn from and hopefully make us think more about the relationships we have in our own lives. i tried my best to do this song justice, so i hope you all enjoy <3

luke’s flying solo on this one (no pun intended), wearing his pan beanie he spoke about in the _finally free_ video. he has his acoustic guitar with him, almost acting as a source of comfort for him as he reflects on this emotional song. julie, alex, and reggie are all behind the camera.

**luke:** this, um . . . this song means a lot to me, so i’m sorry if i don’t make any sense going through it. i just want . . . the reason we put this one on the album is because it has a universal message, and i hope that people can learn from it and hopefully not make the same mistakes i did.

he looks behind the camera and gives a small smile to the three behind it. cue the genius intro credits, where he goofily points at his pan beanie and then strums a little bit on his guitar.

**luke:** oh, yeah, i also remembered to wear my pan beanie this time, so . . . voila. (smiles, then breathes out) i wrote this song about my mom after i ran out on my parents. i was a teen - well, i still am, i guess - and i was so passionate about my music at the time, and i felt like my parents didn’t support me enough. my mom and i especially fought a lot, and one night, i just (gestures slightly) cracked. i couldn’t do it anymore. but i regret stepping away from them, especially how i left.

he goes to sing the first verse, strumming his guitar along with it:

_“first things first_

_we start the scene in reverse_

_all of the lines rehearsed_

_disappeared from my mind_

_when things got loud_

_one of us running out_

_i should've turned around_

_but i had too much pride”_

**luke:** you know, in your head, you can plan out exactly what you’re gonna say, how the conversation is gonna go . . . but life never works out like that. the night things fell apart, i wanted to go stay in the studio with the boys because that felt so much more like home than my actual house, i guess. i planned it all out, how i was gonna ask my mom, bring it up subtly, you know, and then i did . . . that’s where that second part of this verse comes in. she didn’t want her 17 year old living in a crappy studio permanently, we both started yelling, i grabbed my stuff and left. (chuckles bitterly) it was a week before christmas, god. 

he looks down, shaking his head at himself. he then looks up behind the camera, appears to listen to something, then nods his head in response. now he sings the prechorus:

_“no time for goodbyes_

_didn't get to apologize_

_pieces of a clock that lies broken”_

**luke:** it was just all so quick. i mean, it was a life-changing decision i made in a second - i didn’t even pack my toothbrush. that line about the clock was inspired by the clock in the studio i kinda broke that night. sorry, guys. 

he sheepishly looks behind the camera and then chuckles slightly, presumably at some snarky comment alex made.

**luke:** it made me think of this idea that in me running out like that, i broke a big part of both my mom's life and my own. by me leaving, it was almost like i froze our relationship in time. i mean, i went back to my house all the time after that, hiding in the bushes and seeing my mom just absolutely shattered through the window. but i also thought i had done too much, broken too much that i could never fix the clock that, while in pieces, stopped us from developing and improving, even just existing. (looks into the camera) but i promise, there’s always time to go back and change. don’t let your mind trick you like that. 

_“if i could take us back, if i could just do that_

_and write in every empty space the words "i love you" in replace_

_then maybe time would not erase me_

_if you could only know i never let you go_

_and the words i most regret are the ones i never meant to leave_

_unsaid emily”_

**luke:** i really wallowed in that feeling, thinking that i’d gone too far and there was nothing i could do about it. and so i poured into this song everything i regretted about our relationship and how i left it. i wanted - i _needed_ her to know that it wasn’t her fault, that i loved her and that i, like i said, never let her go. but i wasn’t able to get them out and so that’s where the title came from: the words to my mom, emily, that went unsaid. that idea about time erasing me too, though, was a big fear of mine. i thought that because i had made an unfixable mistake, the years would go by and my mom would forget about me, and her last memory would’ve been me yelling at her. (pauses, looking down) and i would’ve hated that. i would’ve been alive and had my own life, of course, but i would’ve been basically dead to her, and at that time that was even worse than not having music. so, i guess, in a way, this song was to preserve the real me and how i felt about my mom, and not the me that had left her that night. 

he now sings the second verse:

_“silent days, mysteries and mistakes_

_who'd be the first to break?_

_i guess we're alike that way”_

**luke:** my mom and i have always been very stubborn - i think that’s why we butted heads so much. after i left, we were radio silent for days, even though i knew we were both thinking about each other and what had happened almost all the time. and at the time, my head wasn’t on straight, and i did some dumb stuff i regret too. as i said, i broke the clock in the studio, which i will say i paid for. but i also drank way too much and was angry a lot of the time. the fact the guys stuck by me through all that . . . i don’t even know, they’re just amazing. 

he smiles slightly behind the camera, then looks down at his guitar to prepare for the prechorus:

_“he said, she said_

_conversations in my head_

_and that's just where they're gonna stay forever”_

**luke:** you know that thing where you, like, have arguments with someone in your head in the shower? i was doing that pretty much all the time when this was going on. it was a combination of trying to remember what actually happened and then imagining how i would talk to her again, but both were just bouncing around my head, driving me insane. i’ve never been great at communicating and expressing my feelings, like, intentionally, but at that time it was especially bad. i think we all remember things differently as time goes on, and the worst part was, i didn’t even remember what my mom had said that made me blow up like that. (scoffs) all that pain and i had no idea why i was going through it. and man, you wouldn’t believe the number of times i thought about how i would go back, what i would say. but every time, i saw my parents in my house and i just . . . i worked myself out of it, and i stayed in the studio.

now he goes to the bridge. as he sings it, he chuckles slightly, finding the humor in the fact that he is singing very minimally and that there are no actual lyrics:

_“ah-ah-ah_

_ah-ah-ah”_

**luke:** i guess there’s not a lot to say lyrically about this, but the guys - who were part of the harmonies in there - were a big part of all this too. we were all going through rough times at home, and i think we all saw the studio as a safe haven. sometimes i’d come back and reg would be playing on his banjo or bass, or ‘lex would be curled up on the couch. and while we’re best friends and always there for each other, we couldn’t replace what a stable family life could provide, especially when we all had our own problems going on. that’s part of the reason ‘lex and i broke up, actually - i think we jumped on the fact that we liked each other and were able to comfort each other, but as time went on, we were so drained from our families that we couldn’t really invest that much into the relationship. i guess what i mean by all this, is that music and adventures and fame can’t fill a void of guilt and loss and regret. and i’m so grateful that i got to make up with my parents and get a second chance at that relationship. in the process, though, i got to make another amazing family too, (looks behind the camera) which hopefully they won’t mind coming in now? 

julie, alex, and reggie all enter the screen. julie wraps her arms around luke first, hugging him tightly and warmly. luke smiles in her embrace. she gives him a kiss on the cheek and then steps aside to let reggie and alex give him a group hug, alex giving him an extra hug and soft smile in respect to their past relationship and what they both remember from it, which luke returns. the four then line up with julie and luke in the middle, luke with his arm wrapped around julie, and reggie and alex on either end.

**luke:** if you all out there listen to one part of this whole interview, i want it to be this: call your mom. or your dad. or your sibling or your best friend. any person in your life that means a lot to you but that you might have messed up with. it’s so much worse to live in a place of regret. just . . . make sure you don’t leave anything unsaid. 

julie, alex, and reggie all smile at him, julie hugging him a little bit tighter. julie reaches down to grab reggie’s hand beside her, and luke grabs alex’s, uniting the four.

**luke:** thank you to everyone who watched this video. you can check out more from us at julie and the phantoms, most of which i promise is less sad.

all four of them chuckle slightly. they all then smile into the camera, reggie giving it a wave. the closing credits end the emotional video.


	8. home is where my horse is (special)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reggie delves into his inspiration for the country song that luke was not happy about being in his journal. also ft. the boys being old dumbasses and not knowing modern-day slang or technology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! this one is a mini special for the lovely @localspacelesbian here on ao3! she made a comment about doing this song and i definitely had a lot of fun flushing the idea out :) they also write absolutely incredible fics for all kinds of fandoms (am, doafp, jatp, etc) and i would really suggest you check their ao3 out!!
> 
> maybe i'm just an angsty person™ but i went a more personal and emotional route with this song as well, so apologies for two consecutive sad songs (pray for me writing stand tall that it won't turn out like these ones)
> 
> i do go into reggie's parents arguing and getting a divorce, so again, keep that in mind please take care of yourself when reading.
> 
> i hope you enjoy my take on reggie's song!
> 
> (also i'm using jeremy's lyrics rather than writing my own because a) i think he did a great job with them and b) they're a lot more official than anything i, a random person on the internet, could come up with)

in another special, reggie sits in the front of the yellow screen this time on his own, wearing a pair of overalls and a flannel to add his own touch to the outfit. he also has a banjo on his lap in a similar way to luke when he had his acoustic guitar with him. julie, alex, and luke, of course, are behind the camera, supporting him.

**reggie:** i honestly have no clue how this made it on the album, because last i remember, luke took it out of his journal because he didn’t want my country music in there. then suddenly i was in the recording studio singing it. it was pretty wild.

luke pokes his head in from the side to interject.

**luke:** in my defense, it felt like every other page was one of reggie’s country songs stuffed in between  my journal for lyrics.

julie also pops her head in to mock him slightly.

**julie:** oh yeah, a whole two pages out of, what, a 150-page book? sure, luke.

alex, too, joins in on the fun, appearing on the screen as well.

**alex:** she’s right, you know. 

luke scoffs and rolls his eyes. he tries to contain his smile, but he can’t help it.

**reggie:** okay, shoo, you guys, this is my interview. 

julie, alex, and luke hold their hands up in surrender, stepping away to let reggie continue on with the interview. cue the genius intro credits, where reggie sways slightly along to some imaginary music (it does not line up with the genius intro music at all) and then runs his hand through his hair for flair.

**reggie:** so, i wrote this song pretty soon after we met julie and got together in a band. i saw the banjo (lifts the one in his lap up, then sets it back down) in the corner and i got inspired to write this little bop.

he sings the first verse, strumming along with his banjo:

_“home, what is it really?_

_sometimes it’s a someone and not a place_

_it’s that feeling of being safe,_

_it’s about who you’re with at the end of the day . . . (and for me)”_

**reggie:** as a kid, my parents always seemed happy together - i mean, i don’t really remember anything bad. but then when i got older, they started fighting . . . a lot. i had my older brother but he was busy with school or friends and stuff and i usually felt pretty alone. (pauses, trying to think how to phrase it) it’s like . . . i started spending more and more time at the studio because i didn’t feel like my house was, like, my  home, i guess? that’s what i mean by home not having to be the actual house we grew up in, because the band and that studio always made me feel so much better than spending nights at my own house.

he is more subdued than usual as he reflects on his parents and their divorce, but he manages to put on his normal excited smile for the chorus:

_“home is where my horse is!_

_riding through the trees by the river_

_feel that summer breeze, a smile gettin’ bigger_

_home is where my horse is_

_don’t need a house or a roof_

_i just lace up my saddle, lace up my boots_

_‘cause home is where my horse is”_

**reggie:** my family and i would watch _bite the bullet_ a ton when i was younger, mostly because it was my favorite movie at the time. just . . . the wild west and the horses and the big race . . . i was obsessed with it. and then, one night, when it was pretty bad with my parents, i was counting through all the vhs tapes that we had - i do that, sometimes, to calm down - and i found the _bite the bullet_ one and i decided to watch it. it actually made me feel a lot better at the time, getting that hit of nostalgia. so all these lyrics remind me of that movie and how much it’s been my, like (looks behind the camera) - hey, julie? is a “comfort movie” right?

he appears to watch for her response and then nods to himself.

**reggie:** okay, yeah, it's my comfort movie. i guess the idea of being free in the plains without any of the responsibilities or pressures my parents would argue about gave me a place to escape to and forget about what was actually going on. (a smile grows on his face) that and also, riding a horse is freaking cool as hell.

he now sings the second verse:

_“(a 2, 3, 4)_

_i don’t the streets_

_i don’t need those city lights_

_i don’t need no fancy car_

_i just hop on my horse and ride_

_(whoo!)”_

**reggie:** i lived my whole life in la, so i never grew up on a farm or anything. i was always around the busy streets and the bright lights and everything and so the world that miss jones and sam and all of them lived in was so different to mine. i even asked for a horse on my birthday for a few years - in case you wanted to know, i never got one. i think part of me wished i could have one so that i could do the race myself and win the money so maybe my parents would stop fighting . . . (looks down, then sighs and looks back up) i know now that there wasn’t anything i could’ve done, though.

to finish off, he goes through the outro:

_“‘cause home is where my horse is_

_i see that beautiful beast riding up to me_

_and i know_

_i’m home”_

**reggie:** i really thought horses were the coolest - man, i don’t know what would’ve happened if i actually saw one in real life. 

he listens to something that alex says behind the camera, then chuckles to himself.

**reggie:** you’re right, i probably would’ve fainted. but yeah, i wanted to try and write about the fact that that movie and that world both helped me get through some hard times, and hopefully, when i’m old and boring i can remember what an epic movie it was. 

once again, he looks back behind the camera, this time listening to julie. his mouth falls open as he listens to what she says.

**reggie:** wait, no way, you’ve gotta be lying. i’ll only believe you if you say it on camera.

julie steps into the frame, laughing to herself.

**julie:** (jokingly coddling him) reggie, we can probably watch the whole movie on youtube when we get home.

**reggie:** (in disbelief) i can’t believe it.

**alex:** (walking on-screen with luke in tow) technology can do some pretty dope things.

**luke:** that and julie’s a science whiz. she convinced everyone at her school that we were some holograms, it was amazing.

**julie:** that sounds more like my powers of persuasion than anything, but i’ll take it. although, i would never know how to make holograms. youtube’s easy though. (to reggie) after this, i’ll find it and we can have a movie night.

reggie smiles excitedly at this prospect.

**alex:** but lightly salted butter on the popcorn, please. luke absolutely drenched it in butter last time, it was swimming in it.

**luke:** (scoffs) you’re totally exaggerating, you couldn’t even taste the butter if i didn’t put that extra on.

**alex:** i think your taste buds are broken, then.

luke sticks his tongue out at alex and the two begin squabbling. julie breaks them up quickly, though.

**julie:** okay, okay, two different bowls of popcorn, one for alex and one for luke. reggie and i’ll just eat from both of you idiots’ bowls. (back to reggie) is there anything else you wanted to say on this song, though, reg?

**reggie:** not really. i mean, i wrote that my home is where my horse is, but right now, you guys are my home, so . . . thank you for that.

all three of them simultaneously say, “aww!” julie’s in perhaps more genuine reaction than the other two, who were primarily doing it exaggeratedly but still feeling very loved by reggie’s affectionate words. a moment of silence falls over them before alex looks between them before alex rolls his eyes and shakes his eyes fondly.

**alex:** come on, group hug?

they all enthusiastically agree, enveloping each other in a warm embrace. then reggie sticks his head out slightly to speak to the camera.

**reggie:** make sure to flow _home is where my horse is_ on spo -

**julie:** (still in the group hug) stream, reg, stream.

**reggie:** stream _home is where my horse is_ on spotify . . . i forgot the rest.

the four break the group hug now to talk to the camera, still standing close together.

**alex:** and all the rest of the millions of different things julie talks about all the time.

**julie:** you guys are such grandpas, i swear.

this makes them all chuckle. suddenly, luke, julie, and alex all jump into a pose for the end of the video, slightly surprising reggie as he didn’t know about it. once he realizes what they’re doing, he poses with his banjo, strumming aggressively for a bit and then letting the sound reverberate in the studio. it goes quiet for a moment. julie and alex are cracking slightly, small smiles peaking out on their face, while luke stares - as he always is about everything - intensely into the camera, determined to keep up the act. reggie also seems intent on remaining in position. eventually, julie cracks first, falling into laughter, with alex soon after and reggie a bit after that. luke, however, remains in his pose, his face solemn, until after the others realize that he’s still posing and snort skeptically at him, at which point he breaks and bursts out laughing as well. the video credits appear as all four stand there laughing together.


	9. stand tall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> julie, alex, luke, and reggie all sit down for the last time to break down the last song on their album and try to explain what "standing tall" really means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! wow, i cannot believe we're here at the last one. i genuinely didn't think this would get much traction - it was a random idea i came up with that i texted my friend about and she encouraged me to try it, so thank you to celia for that.
> 
> i was really struggling with this last one. i wanted a meaningful ending to the series, something that encapsulated everything the characters had gone through while still keeping it relatively within the scope of a real, "if-the-boys-weren't-dead" universe. let's just say that was proving difficult.
> 
> it was also fairly hard for me to get into the nitty-gritty of this song and understand its true meaning. it did take me a while to figure out how i wanted to go about it, but on this last night when finishing it all off, it just felt . . . right. and maybe that is super cliche, "magic voodoo" of me, but i'm feeling good about ending it here, like this. 
> 
> i sincerely hope you all enjoyed the series. i love everyone single one of your comments and am very appreciative of the kudos, so thank you. 
> 
> to all my readers: stand tall. you got this <3

for the final time, julie, luke, alex, and reggie all sit in the genius studio to discuss their final song on their debut album: stand tall. for this one, they all wear a dahlia in honor of julie’s mom - julie, a flower in her hair, luke, a pin on his beanie, alex, a patch on his fanny pack, and reggie, dalias covering his new flannel.

**julie:** i can’t believe this is the last one, guys. i just remember doing the _wake up_ video like it was the other day.

**reggie:** it feels like we were  performing this song for the first time just the other day.

**alex:** well, we just gotta make this one count, don’t we?

**luke:** i know we will.

the band share a smile with each other, communicating the deep-rooted love they have for one another and the background behind this song.

**julie:** get your tissues out, folks, this one might get emotional.

cue the genius intro music. this time, each band member puts on display the dahlias they have on them. after that, julie blows a kiss to the camera while alex rearranges his hair, luke puts his electric guitar on his lap, and reggie reties his flannel around his waist.

**julie:** the reason we’re all wearing dahlias for this one is because it was my mom’s favorite flower, and she was the one that started writing this song. she never got to finish it, but luke helped me write the rest of it. and then the first time we played it was at none other than the iconic orpheum.

**reggie:** (interjecting) we opened for panic!

**alex:** it was pretty epic.

**julie:** i don’t know if i’ve ever had a performance like that since.

**luke:** i think we all really felt it, right? like there was something that was actually connecting us four together and connecting us to the audience too. 

**julie:** yeah, i think so, luke. (to the camera) part of the reason why it was so emotional is because these guys (points her thumb to them) still hadn’t shown up, like, five minutes before we were supposed to go on. my mind started going to the worst and . . . i mean, i literally ran out of the theater right after i was called because they still weren’t there. i didn’t . . . i just felt this overwhelming feeling of loss, this emptiness inside me. i really thought they were gone forever, not only away from me but from each other. that void? it’s terrifying to think about, honestly. and in that moment, all i wanted was my mom to be there and comfort me.

the guys all look completely broken, feeling awful that julie had to go through this. reggie rubs her knee, making julie smile at him.

**julie:** and i knew she couldn’t talk to me, or even hear me, probably, but i stil tried, and when i knew she wasn’t going to magically appear or anything, i almost left the theater completely. i didn’t want to do this without these guys, these people that had become my family. but then . . . (laughs slightly) then this lady walked past me and handed me a flower, and, i mean, you can probably guess what kind it was. and in that moment, something came over me, and i felt like i could go on the stage and sing. i just . . . i just knew i still had to go on for them when they couldn’t. and then in the end, they made it there for the performance and i almost started crying right there.

**alex:** i’m so sorry, jules. i mean, we all are, but . . . especially me, because i know what that’s like. that complete panic and fear, thinking something went wrong.

**julie:** it’s okay, alex. i know it wasn’t your fault and i - (looks at the other two as well) i’m just so glad you were all okay.

**luke:** we’re always here, jules.

he grabs her hand and presses a kiss to it, then rubbing his thumbs soothingly over it. she smiles with watery eyes, but quickly rubs them to recenter herself.

**julie:** anyway, how about we get into the song now?

the boys all laugh slightly at this. julie appears on her own screen to sing the first verse:

_“don't blink_

_no, i don't want to miss it_

_one thing, and it’s back to the beginning_

_'cause everything is rushing in fast_

_keep going on, never look back”_

**julie:** so, my mom had written the two verses, and the rest of it was by me and luke. we looked at this as being a song about pushing forward, and not getting held up by your past and any mistakes you may have made. there is so much to live for and to be excited about and we wanted to inspire people with that.

**alex:** we all get how overwhelming new things and all the possibilities of life can be, especially when you feel like you should’ve done things differently before when you were younger, or more able, or anything like that, but hopefully this song can remind you all to keep your head up and go after what you wanna do.

**reggie:** okay, well, alex might be right that it can get overwhelming, but it’s also amazing, the fact that you have all this potential. 

**luke:** it really is. we just don’t want people to waste it. 

julie gets on her own screen again to sing the prechorus this time:

_“and it's one, two, three, four times_

_that i'll try for one more night_

_light a fire in my eyes_

_i'm going out of my mind”_

**julie:** the “one, two, three, four times” line ended up being in reference to my mom and these three - it symbolized the loss that i had already gone through and each time i’ve had to try and keep pushing through the crushing pain of grief. it really can feel like you’re going out of your mind, trying something over and over and trying to find your passion for it when you don’t feel like you have any. i remember with my mom, i could never bring myself to play or sing again for months after. it felt like i was betraying her, like it wasn’t fair that i got to live and have music when music was all she lived for. and with the guys, the people who had reminded me there’s life in music still . . . i felt like i couldn’t do it without them. i mean, what was music to me now, if all the people that impacted it the most had disappeared?

**luke:** that’s where we had come up with that line about lighting a fire - fire is powerful and energizing but it also burns and can be really painful. for jules, singing and playing, doing the thing that had been a big part of the loss in her life was, in the end, that fire that kept her going, right?

**julie:** it was. i don’t think i’d ever be able to put into words what music means to me, to all of us, but hopefully, this song scratches the surface of it in some places.

**alex:** there was something just . . . magical, i guess, when we heard jules sing for the first time after her mom died. i don’t know how to describe it either, but it was almost like this light burst out of her. i think we (points to luke and reggie) all knew that that was something really special.

**reggie:** i said it then but i’ll say it again: i got goosebumps! and i always do when jules plays. it’s part of why our band is so successful, i would say.

julie has been smiling at the boys this entire time as they dote on her and her singing abilities. she coughs slightly to clear her throat to speak.

**julie:** man, you guys are too nice to me sometimes.  only sometimes, but i still really appreciate it. 

the boys all smile at her now. then, julie and luke get on their own screen to sing the chorus:

_“whatever happens, even if i'm the last standing_

_i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall_

_whatever happens, even when everything's down_

_i'ma stand tall, i’ma stand tall_

_i gotta keep on dreaming_

_'cause i gotta catch that feeling_

_whatever happens, even if i’m the last standing_

_i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall”_

**alex:** not to toot our own horns - well, mostly your guys’ horns (points to julie and luke) - but this song is so catchy. 

**julie:** out of all of them, this is the one my dad sings the most, i think. probably because there’s not a lot for him to remember in the chorus.

they all laugh at this. 

**julie:** that being said, it’s simple, but effective, i think? well, i hope it is. i mean, if everyone out there takes one from this, just remember to “stand tall.” keep fighting, because i promise, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

**luke:** when we were writing this, both jules and i had this same image of kind of one person standing in the middle of an empty field, surrounded by all things and people that didn’t make it with them - it was a pretty clear idea to base the chorus off of.

**alex:** hang on, didn’t you write this the night after watching -

immediately luke claps his hand over alex’s mouth to stop him from talking.

**luke:** (with feigned seriousness) we said we’d never talk about that movie again. i had nightmares for weeks.

alex rolls his eyes at luke’s spectacle behind luke’s hand.

**reggie:** i’m just glad i fell asleep in the first 30 minutes. you guys never actually told me what happened.

**julie:** trust me, reg, you don’t wanna know.

**luke:** i still have no clue how you managed to go to bed after that.

**julie:** (flips hair) what can i say, i’m well-versed in horror. but you weren’t as bad as alex would’ve been.

**alex:** (indignant) hey! i can handle horror just fine. but i was actually  enjoying myself with willie that night.

**luke:** what, falling off his skateboard in front of him?

alex shoves him gently but both boys smile, knowing how bad alex is at skateboarding right now (he IS working on it, and he wouldn’t let you forget it).

**julie:** okay, all three of you are sensitive boys and i love you for it. now, can we get back to stand tall?

**reggie:** yeah, i actually really liked that line about wanting to “catch that feeling” - there’s always this energy on stage when we sing together and i think i’ve always wanted that, ever since i was a kid, even if i didn’t know what exactly it was.

**alex:** well yeah, you’re like a rabbit hopping around the stage. i don’t know how you have so much energy, reg, i get tired sitting at my drums. but you’re right, it really does have that . . . vibe? (looks at julie) is that right?

julie laughs.

**julie:** yes, alex, the “vibe.” it’s such an enthralling experience being on stage like that, and i hope that all of you out there get to feel something like that at some point. of course, we wouldn’t be able to have that without all of your support, so thank you so so much for that.

**luke:** yeah, really, thank you. you probably can’t understand how much it means to us.

they all smile into the camera. then julie sings the second verse on her own screen:

_“right now, i'm loving every minute_

_hands down, can't let myself forgеt it, no_

_'cause everything is rushing in fast_

_keep holding on, nеver look back”_

**julie:** it’s actually pretty crazy how much the progression of the song fit that first performance we did of this song. by this point, all the boys were on the stage, and this just . . . life poured into me. i really was loving singing with them and i just wanted to savor the entire performance.

**luke:** it was just so  electric. i think the crowd fed off it really well. 

**alex:** we can never recreate that moment, but all of us try and bring some of that . . . whatever magic voodoo that was into all of our performances of this song since.

**reggie:** i still find it amazing that your mom managed to write the perfect verse for that, jules. how do you think she did that?

**julie:** honestly, reg, no clue. sometimes it’s just one of those things - it’s like, in alex’s words, “magic voodoo.”

**alex:** i think that’s pretty descriptive if i do say so myself.

**julie:** i know she wrote it in a different pen than the first verse, so i kind of like to think that she had her own experience like we had, and that gave her inspiration for that change in view later. 

**reggie:** wow, that’s super cool, i had no idea.

**alex:** that’s really beautiful, jules.

**luke:** i really hope she got to have that moment.

she smiles at all three of them, her eyes slightly watery again at the mention of her mom.

**alex:** i also thought the parallel of “everything rushing in fast” was neat. it switched from being that wave of anxiety that you can’t seem to control to, like, this adrenaline and excitement. your mom was an incredible songwriter.

**julie:** she was. though, she’d never admit it if you told it to her face. she was always very modest. unlike someone . . . (she looks up pointedly at luke)

**luke:** hey! i’m not not modest, i’m just confident in my music, that’s all.

**julie:** yeah, i know.

the pair share a warm smile. this time, all four remain on the screen for the bridge, julie singing the majority of it but alex’s and reggie’s solos included as well.

_“like i’m glowing in the dark_

_i keep on going when it's all falling apart_

_yeah, i know with all my heart_

_ooh, ooh_

_never look back_

_whatever happens, even if i'm the last standing_

_i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall_

_whatever happens, even if i'm the last standing_

_i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall”_

_stand tall_

_stand tall_

**julie:** i need to know why you two (points to alex and reggie) don’t have more solos on this album because whaaaaat?! i sometimes forget just how amazing your voices are, since i’m stuck singing with luke over here (now points to him) most of the time.

luke pulls an exaggerated pouty face, aware what he’s doing.

**luke:** julie doesn’t like singing with me anymore.

**julie:** (thinks of the reference and smiles before “getting into character”) you’re old, washed up! (the three boys look at her confusedly, and julie looks shocked) no way, i haven’t shown you guys _dance moms_? classic reality tv right there.

**alex:** _dance moms?_ is it about moms . . . who dance?

**julie:** well, the girls dance, they’re moms are just there for the drama. it’s definitely problematic sometimes, but the memes and the edits are so good. and i think you’d like some of their dances, alex.

alex smiles at this prospect. 

**luke:** oh no, now he’s not gonna stop dancing, jules. what have you done?

alex shoves him again playfully. 

**julie:** that’s big talk for the worst dancer in the band.

reggie bursts out into laughter and alex chuckles as well. julie smirks and luke can’t hide his smile back to her.

**julie:** roasting aside, i love all our parts in the bridge and how they line up. they’re (does a chef’s kiss) perfect.

**reggie:** our harmonies on those “oohs” always turn out so great, jules.

**julie:** yes, for sure. and the message here is really just the same as the rest of the song: keep going. believe in yourself. (laughs slightly at the overuse of the title) stand tall. i think that’s the best advice we all can give you.

they all agree on this and then pause for a moment, before alex breaks the silence.

**alex:** can we sing the chorus again, one more time? just to remember this and . . . maybe release some of that “magic voodoo” into the studio.

**julie:** that sounds great, alex.

julie, alex, and reggie all get up from their stools to go sing the final chorus. however, luke remains on his stool, arms folded. the other three notice this shortly.

**luke:** julie doesn’t wanna sing with me.

reggie laughs, alex rolls his eyes at luke, and julie scoffs, then walks forward to give him a forehead kiss.

**julie:** now will you come sing?

luke tries to bite away a smile but fails to once again. he “begrudgingly” gets up to sing.

_“whatever happens, even if i'm the last standing_

_i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall_

_whatever happens, even when everything's down_

_i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall_

_i gotta keep on dreaming, 'cause i gotta catch that feeling_

_whatever happens, even if i'm the last standing_

_i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall”_

they let their last note resonate for a moment, and then silence falls on the studio. the four smile at each other, all aware of the connection they felt.

**julie:** yeah . . . that’s everything behind _stand tall_ for you. and now . . . now i don’t know how to end this. i mean, this is the last one, we gotta do something spec -

she stops herself as she sees alex walk off camera to grab something. he returns with a plaque in his hand, and reggie, luke, and alex all stand next to each other, facing julie. 

**alex:** so, jules . . . (clears his throat, trying to speak. he fails to and looks to reggie for backup) uh -

**reggie:** right, so, julie . . . we, uh . . . oh, man, this is hard!

both alex and reggie look to luke to put into words what they can’t. julie watches this entire thing amusedly with a smile on her face. luke sighs at the other two, disappointed but not surprised they cracked under the pressure and couldn’t execute their planned surprise.

**luke:** jules. you have completely changed our lives. you gave us a new insight into what music could become and how it could touch people, something that i always wanted to achieve but never knew how. we know we came into your life at a time when you were still dealing with a lot of stuff with your mom and we know how important she is to you, so we came up with this . . . 

alex holds out the plaque. it’s a spotify one, with _st_ _and tall_ being the song. for the album cover, it has been replaced with julie's favorite picture of her and her mom. tears fall down julie’s cheeks as her eyes move over it, taking it all in. the boys smile between each other at her reaction.

**reggie:** (pointing) there’s also something on the back.

she flips it over to see each of their names engraved in their own handwriting (luke’s being the scrawliest of the three) under the words “julie’s phantoms, forever” with a heart next to it. she makes a noise in between a laugh and a sob and looks up at the three. 

**julie:** thank you, boys.

she lunges to wrap them in a group hug and hugs them tightly. the boys all smile to themselves, pleased that she liked it.

they unravel slightly (still standing very close together) to finish the outro.

**julie:** wow, i . . . (wipes her eyes) now i  really don’t know how to finish this now. uh . . . we hope to be back soon with another album and breakdown all of those songs but for now . . . remember to be with the people you love and never waste a minute of it. this has been julie and the phantoms.

all four of them smile first at julie, then look into the camera. and to finish, reggie adds his own line:

**reggie:** tell your friends!  
  


the four all laugh, then alex initiates another group hug. they stand there in each others’ grasp, happy and comfortable and full of love, until the ending credits appear to finish off their last genius interview . . . for now.


End file.
